Do You Feel a Failure?

Butterfly and Caterpillar

Do you feel a failure – perhaps not all the time but even occasionally? Have you tried to change but find your attempts just aren’t working?

Take heart. Change can be a slow process and can require a lot of work. There are various stages you need to go through to succeed in making a permanent change in your life and it is possible your failures are either part of that process or down to insufficient preparation at the relevant stage.

You may know you want to change but cannot picture yourself as this new person living a different lifestyle. This is a very important part of enabling yourself to take action and be sure of long-term success.

Do you have countless reasons and excuses about why change won’t work or hasn’t worked for you? Take a long hard look at what you are saying and thinking. Are you uncomfortable with the idea of change and what you will have to give up? Think about whether the things you give up are really that great and whether this is just about personal control over your actions. Decide on what you want for yourself – whether it is better health or job satisfaction and ask those uncomfortable questions as to why you choose to make the negative choices in your life.

Once you have commitment you are ready to prepare for action. This includes enlisting help and support from others, altering your environment and routines and preparing yourself mentally for some hard work. Make the change measurable and attainable. Monitor your progress at sensible points and don’t try to take on too much at once.

If you have tried to change and taken action and then slipped temporarily this is actually OK. The important thing is to get yourself back on your path to your new self. If you have tried to change and found it too hard then go back to your reasoning, look at how you approached and made yourself ready for change. What do you need to do differently? Making mistakes and slipping occasionally are part of the change process; there is no need to feel a failure.

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